It’s hard not to be sad lately, but I’m trying to be happy about it being April, and the first flowers appearing. I went to visit Louis, but he hid from me, I guess since the last time I saw him I put him in a carrier and took him to the vet! And before that, put him in a carrier and drove him two days from Milwaukee to New York! He doesn’t know how lucky he was that I didn’t make him drive through half of Pennsylvania!
The last two games of the NCAA tournament are on tonight, but I can’t get too excited about them because I don’t feel like either one will be close. Four #1 seeds– how absurd! I mean, there is still one game, the final, but as this tournament goes on it gets more and more boring.
I am happy that I have a new job, however! I worked all last week, and it was really a nice feeling to be working. It helped that I worked with and around such nice people.
It was a really nice day today. It was supposed to rain, but it didn’t, so I walked around. I also took pictures of flowers.
I have to work on my taxes tonight. Were more depressing words ever spoken?
I guess this sounds like a lot of ups and downs. I would say more, but I don’t want to get too personal. And when I think about it, what more can you be thankful for than ups and downs? I mean, what if things were just average all the time? That doesn’t sound very good.
Maybe it’s totally foolish of my to start thinking about spring because it’s March 1st! But I can’t help it! A long time ago, when someone invented the names for the months, they really influenced how we feel about the months by the names, I guess. October looks like pumpkin. November and December get long, dark, and cold, and then January and February are harsh and wintry. You can’t even spell February, without a lot of trouble, or pronounce it. Then suddenly it’s MARCH! It just sounds like spring!
I always remember in that movie, Jeremiah Johnson, there was that mountain man who said, “March is a green muddy month down below. Some folks like it. Farmers mostly.” He said it with disdain, and disdain for farmers, and the point was, it was still cold, snowy, and harsh up in the mountains. But I always thought about that in a way that made me like March, green, muddy… maybe I’m a farmer at heart. I guess I did grow up in a farm region.
Okay, I didn’t make a best of list this year!
One thing I’ll remember about the year 2007 is, it’s the year I stopped going to movies. At first this development really bothered me, like, what’s going on with me? Why am I changing, and should I be concerned? But then I thought, no… it’s not a bad thing to change. I only have one life to live, and I should definitely decide how to spend my time in a way that is most positive and productive for me.
My feeling isn’t that I have changed so much… the movies have changed. Or maybe I have just grown out of liking movies. Maybe I HAVE changed, just in I have no more patience for things that ring false with me. I don’t want to experience or witness violence in my daily life, so why should I want to see it in movies. Two movies that I considered seeing, since they were made by some incredibly talented and remarkable filmmakers, the Coen Brothers and Paul Thomas Anderson, promised to be incredibly violent, from what I read about them. I almost went to those movies, but then decided against it. Why do I keep doing that to myself, upsetting myself by the movies I see? So I didn’t go to their movies… and once I didn’t go to their movies it pretty much snowballed… I stopped going to movies altogether!
My dream job is to do something that has to do with cats! Like grooming them, or catsitting. I guess not grooming, because that means, like, licking them. They take care of that themselves. Maybe something like giving them baths. No maybe not that either. Cats hate baths.
I guess when it comes down to it, my dream job would be more like BEING a cat! But I’d like to not ALWAYS be a cat either. If it was a job, I’d like to not necessarily take it home with me!
It’s springtime, and I’m riding my bike… I wish there was a better way to express being happy. There are so many interesting ways to talk about being sad, but very few ways you can talk about being happy. It can usually just as easily be express with a symbol, like this:
On one of the nice days earlier this week I got my bike out for the first time since winter and rode to the south side, it was just a great day, and it really felt good to be riding my bike. But then on the way back someone threw a BOTTLE at me from a CAR, and that really depressed me. I mean, I didn’t feel TOO bad, there was nothing I could do about it, and at least it didn’t hit me. But I just got all caught up in thinking, “WHY?”
As I rode the rest of the way home, I didn’t see another single person riding a bike, and here it is, only 8pm and like 60 degrees outside. There were certainly plenty of people out driving. Did those people throw that bottle at me because I WAS THE ONLY ONE?
But finally, there was nothing for me to do but forgive.
This is a bit late, but it can’t be ignored. And I KNOW there were a lot more important terrible things going on last year, and they can’t be measured against each other, but with a certain amount of perspective, I really believe that this was the epitome of evil.
I got this 8 by 5 junk mail insert for Vonage, for cell phone service, in the mail– it didn’t even come with an address on it, I think it came with a package of junk mail. Anyway, when I went to recycle it all, as I usually do, tearing it all up, I couldn’t tear up this particular ad– BECAUSE IT’S PLASTIC! It is indestructible. In fact, I’ve kept it around just because of that reason, so perhaps I’m playing right into their hands.
But no… not me, anyway. I’m so disgusted by this, I would never get cell phone service from this company. (I will also never get phone service from AT&T, or anyone owned by AT&T—not that Vonage is, but I just had to throw that in.) Eventually my choices may be really limited! But I’ll use two tin cans and a string before I’ll get phone service from any of these companies.
I guess what I’ll do with this plastic card ad is write on it what I think, how much it sickens me, then put it into a time capsule that I have for last year and am about to seal. I wonder how many of these ads they printed? Probably millions. I don’t think there is any way to get rid of these, except maybe by burning them. I guess there will be millions of these things floating around, intact in landfills, clogging waterways, not decaying, just sitting there– for how many years? Who knows? Forever. They’ll still be around, for sure, long after I am pushing up daisies.
I heard on the radio today that, due to cell phones, and those other things, like blueberrys and strawberrys, sorry, I’m just (NOT) being funny, which tell the time, young people don’t wear watches anymore. There was some worthless statistic like two thirds of teenagers don’t wear watches. But I don’t think ANY teenagers wear watches.
This is something I was already thinking about when I went to Walgreen’s a month ago and tried to buy a cheap wristwatch and found out they NO LONGER CARRIED wristwatches. Not that you can’t buy them at some other shit store, but still, this was, to me, an alarming development.
Talking about Walgreens, I just went by the corner of S. 27th and National where the National Liquor Bar (with the best lighted sign in Milwaukee) USED TO BE before Walreens tore it down to build a new store there. The new store is open and it’s just as hideous and boring as all the other new Walgreens stores all around the country that are being built on the very ground where there used to be something interesting.
But even worse, the OLD Walgreens store, just across the street sits empty, and probably will sit empty, too ugly, big, and expensive for any kind of local buisness to move into. The same goes for the Walgreens that closed downtown YEARS ago.
Walgreens is ruining towns all across the country. Are they worse than Wal-Mart yet? Are they related? What’s with those names? Walgreens opens a new store every 17 hours. (I just read that.) Soon there will be one, if they aren’t stopped, right on top of your poor, lifeless form.
I’m sorry that I was so anrgy earlier, and while I don’t imagine that anyone has actually had the misfortune of reading this, I suppose it is a possibilty, and even though I know I could just put this in a note book, or delete it, or mail it to myself, or bury it in a hole, or burn it, or make the setting on this thing so no one can read it but me, I kind of like the idea that my weaknesses are exposed and something that I have to live with and take responsibility for. Ideally it would eventually make me a better person, though really, I don’t think people grow or change very much in their lives, after about the first or second year anyway. So if nothing else, this is just me saying I’m sorry.
I am: Bill Pemberton